Author: valeriecameronmerritt

“Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply. They’re either speaking or preparing to speak. They’re filtering everything through their own paradigms, reading their autobiography into other people’s lives.” – Stephen R. Covey

Can you listen differently this weekend, especially to people you feel you know very well? Can you allow a different story to be told by removing yours from the conversation?

We can feel so much importance placed on what we are offering to a conversation when what’s needed most is the act of listening. That is an offering alone. Replies are often overrated! Try taking a full breath for understanding before you say anything.

You have a choice in the thoughts you allow in your mind and how those thoughts are shared through the vibration of your voice. You can grow beautiful connections through carefully chosen thought, word, and action or you can host a careless and even angry collection of mismanaged emotions. Perhaps you’re working on this and you’re not quite through the entire pile of rubbish. (Well done! Keep going!) Words and the feeling you create in others can stick around for a long time. If the sharing you’ve participated in is hurtful, it could be tucked away for years, festering. So be careful with anger and how you let that filter into your life and the lives of others. Hurtful words can be triggers; just as traumatic scenes and memories send people into shaking frames and a disoriented reality, so too can language associated with emotional wounds.

Be mindful of your words. Choose positive lingo when you have the presence of mind to do so. Even in difficult situations, the words chosen can lift instead of diminish. What you send out probably has a receptive antenna nearby, soaking in the waves of your intention.

What you speak has the possibility of manifesting into something more depending on the repetition and concentrated focus. You are powerful. Your words are powerful. Remember to be kind and create with care.

Can you give yourself permission to follow an impulse this weekend? Let an idea bubble up and follow it! It can be so simple. Maybe there’s a spot you’ve been meaning to visit or a person that’s been on your mind who could really be lifted by the sound of your voice or a text to show your thoughts. They’re probably thinking of you too. Maybe you want to read a book that you’ve read five times before and it seems fully digested but there’s a passage waiting to be seen differently that will help you decide to say yes to something you’ve been reluctant to accept or try. Ask yourself, what do I want most in this moment? at least once in the next few days. Only you know what your impulses are. It’s important to let them speak to you. You may have a lovely surprise in store just beyond that hunch you can’t quite explain…

(All things within reason 😊.)

If you want to ask, truly inquire, after the wellbeing of someone you care for, I would suggest asking after their heart. It cares for a person more deeply than “how are you” or “how do you feel”. Those are both broad and frequent. I’m in communication with this amazing friend who asks about my heart from time to time. I’ve grown to appreciate the question so much that it feels important to share.

This question is the one to have in your back pocket when the scenario is wrought with complications, or the exhaustion is overwhelming and you know bringing it up could add fuel to a fire you’re trying to put out. When you don’t know what to say – say this.

“Don’t be confused by the nature of solitude, when something inside you wants to break free of your loneliness. This very wish, when you use it as a tool for understanding, can illumine your solitude and expand it to include all that is. Bound by conventions, people tend to reach for what is easy. It is clear, however, that here we must be unafraid of what is difficult. For all living things in nature must unfold in their particular way and become themselves at any cost and despite all opposition.”

Rainer Maria Rilke
Rome, May 14, 1904
Letters to a Young Poet

My family is signed up for a weekly CSA box delivery this summer. It’s adding some fun and variety to our kitchen with occasional fruits, vegetables, and herbs that are either new for us or not regularly on the menu. We’ve tried soup with satisfyingly hearty water spinach, sweet potato greens in a coconut curry, a lemon basil pesto with avocado, and now this week a comforting tulsi tea. I’ve had tulsi or holy basil before but it was dried in a bag for steeping or a capsule to swallow with water. Unpacking the box alongside one of the farmers, and finding the green stems jutting out of a partially open and slightly crinkled white paper bag with the scent of fresh tulsi, mildly sweet and calming, was a pleasant surprise. I stood there for a stretched out moment to fully breathe the sweetness in and the exhale was all gratitude and contentment. The cups of tea that have followed are delightfully more of the same!

If you have access to fresh tulsi and want to make tea, I’ve read that it’s best to let the bundle of leaves wilt for a day ahead of steeping. Gently coil the basil into the bottom of a glass pitcher or jar and fill with hot water. Cover it for 10-15 minutes before removing the leaves to let it cool and enjoy!

“Be wild; that is how to clear the river. The river does not flow in polluted, we manage that. The river does not dry up, we block it. If we want to allow it its freedom, we have to allow our ideational lives to be let loose, to stream, letting anything come, initially censoring nothing. That is creative life. It is made up of divine paradox. To create one must be willing to be stone stupid, to sit upon a throne on top of a jackass and spill rubies from one’s mouth. Then the river will flow, then we can stand in the stream of it raining down.”

Clarissa Pinkola Estés, Women Who Run With the Wolves: Myths and Stories of the Wild Woman

In honor of being present this Monday, take a moment to check in with yourself and assess what is or isn’t working for you – today – yesterday – this month- this year. Give yourself a little freedom and flexibility with plans. This is coming from a person who may have been known to function from a fairly fixed place in the past. If I said I was going to do something, I did it, even if the thing became inconvenient or could be seen to have benefit in another course. I felt that good character included staying true to your word. I’m not in any way suggesting that you shouldn’t maintain commitment to promises or see projects through to completion but I am suggesting that you may find solutions and creative freedom in allowing yourself room to change your mind when the overall decision fits your life, personal growth, or the area you live or work in best. Perhaps you know something today you didn’t know when planning. It’s okay to work with your plans up until the point that bolstering them doesn’t fit you any longer. If flexibility and letting go may provide you relief in another way, let yourself make the wisest choice in the moment. It’s the best any of us can do.

A quiet mind, a peaceful heart, and an acknowledged solar plexus are reliable guides. Trust the gift of your internal compass.

Take time and breathe deep to check in. Are you and your compass in sync? Can you allow more light and clarity to honestly examine the situations presently surrounding you? Do you need to be more flexible or let go of anything?

“Seeing beauty in a flower could awaken humans, however briefly, to the beauty that is an essential part of their innermost being, their true nature. The first recognition of beauty was one of the significant events in the evolution of human consciousness. The feelings of joy and love are intrinsically connected to that recognition. Without our fully realizing it, flowers would become for us an expression in form of that which is most high, most sacred, and ultimately formless within ourselves. Flowers, more fleeting, more ethereal, and more delicate than the plants out of which they emerged, would become like messengers from another realm, like a bridge between the world of physical forms and the formless. They not only had a scent that was delicate and pleasing to humans, but also brought a fragrance from the realm of spirit. Using the word ‘enlightenment’ in a wider sense than the conventionally accepted one, we could look upon flowers as the enlightenment of plants.”

~Eckart Tolle from A New Earth, Awakening to Your Life’s Purpose

I am having so much fun being me.  I am thankful for all the qualities that make me who I am.  

These words will lead to good things if you can get past how silly or ridiculous you may feel initially saying this to and about yourself.  It’s absolutely true! It’s good to be you!!