Author: valeriecameronmerritt

Sometimes we plan to reach out to others in volunteer work, in deliberately speaking with the people who help us in everyday interactions, or with friends and family.  How about with strangers who happen to be standing next to you in line, on the same shopping aisle, or passing on a trail?  I don’t think too much about these interactions when they happen – I just have them.

Yesterday I was in Lowes Home Improvement with my kids and I had firewood and a number of painting materials in the cart as well as a snow shovel and two sleds.  Last year my son broke our sled and I have been meaning to replace it as well as pick up a shovel.  It doesn’t snow a lot where I live, but we typically get one or two downfalls that keep the kids out of school for a few days and give us enough white fluff to enjoy the hills in our neighborhood.

A woman standing behind us in line looked a little excited and asked if I knew something she didn’t know.  I paused for a second thinking about all the things I may know and could share with her.  After the fleeting thoughts there and not responding I realized she was referring to the winter weather items in our cart and said, “Oh! No… picking them up for later.  You know what, because I’m buying them maybe it won’t snow at all this season.  I’m really wishing I had something magical to share with you since you looked excited …let me think – maybe I can make up something.”  I don’t think she was expecting that last bit.  She laughed and said, “It’s ok.  I thought you may have seen something on the news that I missed.”  I finished our transaction at the register and said, “Perhaps we’ll see a little snow soon!  Have a good day.”

As we walked away my daughter said, “There goes Mom, always making one second friends.  You have so many one second friends, Mom.”

This made me smile.  I don’t typically think of speaking with someone I don’t yet know as holding much value beyond those few words, and maybe this particular interaction was not that but it did coin a phrase I won’t be forgetting.  Yesterday, my daughter helped me to extend my understanding as well as connect to past events…. anyone could be a one second friend and who is to say what impact our few words may have.

I’ve certainly had a ‘one second friend’ say important things to me before…and on multiple occasions. Years ago, there was an older gentleman who told me to ‘be happy with what you have’ and I still count him as delivering a very important message to me that I needed to hear in that precise moment.

Be Open.  You could be an important moment for another person as they could be for you!

This being human is a guest house ….. so says Rumi.  I first came across the poem, The Guest House , two years ago.  It caught me immediately for the understanding of learning through life in every scenario.

Each guest is an emotion or an experience to clean us out or open us for the next.  Welcome each guest as a guide from beyond.

Recently I had a brief chat with someone about this poem by Rumi.  She thought besides being a teacher for what is to come, the guest house could represent welcoming the different aspects of our own character.  Allowing each talent, skill, or thought on self to sit comfortably together until all the pieces of yourself are so much larger than you could ever be in this physical form to contain them.  A meditation on harmonious interplay, on growing to accept every part that represents yourself can make you feel as big as this universe. Try it!

I’ve only read one of Tolstoy’s works – Anna Karenina – and that, much like many things in life required wading through some slow sections.  However, taking time for the entire novel was worthwhile. Partially in jest, I tie him in for the weekend and an activity that lots of us enjoy:  roasting marshmallows!  I bet if Tolstoy  were waiting for the perfectly browned outside and delightfully gooey center, he would remind us of the virtues necessary in gaining the desired outcome…
“The strongest of all warriors are these two — Time and Patience.”

-Leo Tolstoy

 

A handful of positive quotes:

“Once you replace negative thoughts with positive ones, you’ll start having positive results.”

— Willie Nelson

“In order to carry a positive action we must develop here a positive vision.”

— Dalai Lama

“Positive thinking will let you do everything better than negative thinking will.”

— Zig Ziglar

“In every day, there are 1,440 minutes. That means we have 1,440 daily opportunities to make a positive impact.”

— Les Brown

“Perpetual optimism is a force multiplier.”

— Colin Powell

Sometimes it’s difficult to find the starting place for being positive by ourselves and knowing when to let someone else lend a hand can be the most helpful non-action. Let.  Allow.  Be receptive.  Be grateful for what others have to give.

 

There are some simple steps you can take to usher positive energy into your home.  Vacuuming and moving things around can make a big difference in the way a room feels.  I used to view cleaning purely as a chore, all the while knowing that it felt better after – but placing most of my focus on the fact that it was not how I wanted to be spending my time.  Over the years, I have started putting more emphasis on the good vibes that cleaning and arranging  bring to a space.  By simply changing my focus to the result, I have also come to value the time spent in the activity of tidying as well as rearranging.  If I take half an hour to clean and move a few items to new resting spots, it makes a difference in how home feels and the productivity that happens there. Cleaning and changing layout allows the mind to declutter as well.

 

 

 

 –Post by Pallavi Sukhia

What started out as a joke at first is gradually becoming something that I want as the mantra of my life. As my friend and I were out shopping one day, she looked at this pair of gorgeous pink boots and started debating whether or not to get them. As she looked at me for a second opinion, the words that came out of my mouth instinctively were ‘Get them, they deserve you!’

Advertisers have often tried to sell us products convincing us that we deserve them. Why not break away from that mold and decide whether or not the product is worthy of us?

Seems like an arrogant thought? Look at it this way – as women spend their entire lives playing various roles, often in tandem – daughter, coworker, wife, boss, mother – they tend to put themselves last. It is not uncommon for women to lose sight of their value, needs, and worth as an individual detached from all of those roles.

Why not surround yourself with things, people, and relationships that you feel deserve you? That have earned the privilege of being with you. Your emotions, time, money, and energy are valuable. Spend them on things and people that truly appreciate and acknowledge your worth. This will also help you dispense your resources in a mindful, thoughtful manner. Now go out and get that book, eat that last piece of candy, smell that flower – they all deserve you!

Thank you, Pallavi, for sharing your mantra with us!

Watch what comes and goes in your thinking.  Hold the thoughts that feel good in focus for longer periods of time and consider writing them down for clarity on the blessings that you experience.  You may be pleasantly surprised at all the reasons you find for feeling good.  Expand into the feeling of happiness that greets you!Photograph by Cindy Weaver  – Santa Fe, NM

Make a date with yourself this weekend!  However much time you can afford – even if you’re only looking at 15 minutes.  Use the time to follow any impulse that flows to you.  Don’t question – don’t hesitate – just do. ‘Doing’ may mean following the impulse of sitting quietly or going off on a trail, into town, or some creative inspiration.  Whatever feels good to you in the moment is the idea.  Enjoy what comes!

Post by: Tracy Weaver, Life Coach, EFT Practitioner

Pssssst! Hey! Of course you! Want to learn a magic trick? This one is so simple, you’ll laugh when you hear it. This one tricks you into seeing contrasts differently, which changes the way you think just a little, which gets you to explore your habitual beliefs a little, and before you know it the way you’ve been feeling about life will quietly move up a few notches, which means you could end up a little happier. Not bad for a simple little parlor trick, eh? The best part is, nobody ever needs to know what you’re up to. Okay, here’s how it works.

Whenever you catch yourself saying “or”, try sticking “and” in there instead! Doesn’t sound like much, right? Well, I’m not saying it works every time, but when it does it’ll make you smile, and might change things up for you. Let’s see, some examples:

– We can go out to dinner or we can go out to the movies. -> We can go out to dinner and we can go out to the movies. (There’s that dollar cinema downtown and we can go out for vegetarian tonight, and maybe skip the wine until we get home. Ours is better anyway.)

– We can have burgers or salmon tonight. -> We can have burgers and salmon tonight. (Surf and Turf! I’ll just use half the amount of each. Then tomorrow I can make salmon cakes, and I can use the rest of the burger meat for spaghetti with meat sauce the night after. Wow, I just got the next three dinners solved!)

– I can go to college or do what’s expected and work for the family business. -> I can go to college and make my family happy and work for the family business. (I know I’ve read about people who have done both and still gotten good grades. Helloooo Internet! Who’s already got a blog going about this? Anyway, it’s not like I have to work for them forever. I can sort of gradually segue from the family business into whatever I decide I want to do. Anyway, I’ll be getting paid to help my family. That’s more than a lot of people can say.)

See what I mean? Once you get good at this, try switching “and” in for “but”. It’s a bit more subtle, but can still change the way you think about the contrast. Like this: “I want to write a blog, but I’ve never done anything like that before. -> I want to write a blog and I’ve never done anything like that before. (So what? Hmm, is there a blog about this? How about “Blog Writing For Dummies? Something on YouTube?)

If you want to really go for it, try swapping “can” for “can’t”, “will” for “won’t”, and “Sure!” for “No way!”, just to surprise yourself.

What’s the secret? You’re using inclusion instead of exclusion, that’s all. Have Fun!

-Thank you, Tracy for contributing!