“To be human and to be adult means constantly to be in the grip of opposing emotions, to have daily to reconcile apparently conflicting tensions.  I want this, but need that.  I cherish this, but I adore its opposite too.”  — Anonymous 

Let this moment be a time to breathe deep and exhale fully.  Bring your belly into the spine on your exhale to empty out the last breath in you and anything stagnant you’ve been holding.  The inhalation that follows may bring you to center, where you can see the wants and needs suspended in a delicate balance around you, separate but linked.  From center, you can appreciate them without being entangled in the tensions.  You may be able to see anything that pulls you away from center as an energetic expenditure over which you have authority.

Have a lovely day!

What rubs you the wrong way?  What feels like sandpaper against your skin, causing noticeable agitation?  Whatever that is, is what needs your attention the most.  It doesn’t need you to complain about it but instead ask why it bothers you.  When you know why something bothers you, you can dispel the reason or accept it, and then you may find that in time it doesn’t bother you at all any longer.

Growing up, when the sink was clean, there was an understood rule that you’d best not leave a dirty dish in there anytime soon.  Cleaning up after yourself is an excellent lesson to learn, and so I appreciate that this was shared with me even though it took years for me to apply to other areas in the home (messy = creative, right? ).  Once I was in a better habit of cleaning in adult years I realized that I had a lot of tension around the first dish that would go into an empty sink in my own home.  I didn’t want to use a mug, plate, a fork, or anything that would be laid down into my freshly scrubbed basin.  Seriously, this caused me a slight degree of annoyance until I realized that I could view it all differently.  I have now decided to enjoy the usage of that first dish as a celebration of life and the cycles we experience on a small scale within our larger cycles of coming and going.  Now a clean sink is ready to hold whatever comes to it next.  Placing a dish in a clean sink, I smile to myself because it’s a life affirming, positive motion.  Getting to choose how you think and respond is a blessing!  What you experience is up to you…

 

Man is made by his belief. As he believes, so he is.  —The Bhagavad Gita

Take time to quiet your mind so that you may bring awareness into your daily living.  Even 10 minutes of sitting every day to watch your thoughts and practice seeing them come and go will shift the frequency and speed of thoughts running in the mind.  Once you have practiced watching the mind, you will be able to detach from your thoughts and decide which ones you want to host and which ones don’t belong in your life any longer.  You can choose what fits you and what you will believe and allow in your experience.

This is practice, so please be kind to yourself and gentle when the process feels stuck or your mind unyielding.  Let yourself be imperfect and greet every thought with curiosity.  You don’t have to be serious, but you do need to be focused. The focus can be playful and curious while choosing what thoughts and beliefs are worthy of you.

 

Do you find yourself attached to the actions, responses, or opinions of others?  If you ask a question, do you expect a certain response?  In social settings, do you have ideas about how and why people should behave? This kind of attachement can lead you into judgements about others, keeping you from letting yourself act, or a combination of the two.

A few weeks ago, Jessica, told me she’s been saying to herself, “let you be you and let them be them”.  It’s elemental and effective!  I’ve been trying this phrase too and it sets up a space for allowance of whatever occurs or doesn’t occur, while filtering out those pesky expectations that are so easy to… expect.

If you catch yourself in a downward spiral with stress, disappointment, or whatever may be the case you can stop that feeling by recognizing it and knowing you don’t want to participate.  The moment you become separate from the emotion(s) you are feeling is the moment when you can neutralize any situation.  Once it’s in neutral, you may want to jump into a super feel good affirmation like “my every wish will be answered” but…. unless your feeling and belief matches those words, it won’t happen.  ☺️  When you’re looking for an affirmation that can meet you in neutral try on this one:

Things are always working out.

Say that a few times and if it feels good, try adding a little something extra:

Things are always working out in ways that are better than what I could have imagined!

When you need a lift, these words can do that pretty quickly!!

An affirmation for surrender:

I let go.

I let love.

This affirmation is worth revisiting again and again.  It can be helpful in many scenarios. Letting go is not about giving up, it’s about trusting in a plan that’s larger than you.  Letting love is about softening your heart to all that is and offering compassion to the world around you.  Let life unfold before you.  Let love move through you.  Feel the ease and contendedness in this affirmation as the words settle into your being.

My kiddos make jokes about the length of time it sometimes takes me to respond to them, which can feel very delayed.  They are accustomed to fast returns in every avenue of their experience.  With parenting, I’ve learned to slow it down and know there’s value in applying this elsewhere.  Often the first words that come to me are not an accurate representation of how I want to  navigate a situation.  Sometimes the first words, thoughts, and response to something are pieces of an old story we don’t want to tell anymore.

To make room for change and growth, the first active step is giving some space between stimulus and response.  We don’t expect to gather a harvest the same day we plant!  The areas of life you spy for improvement are like little seedlings.  If we look at making changes in those areas  with this understanding, the entire process can become one of self nurture.  After you begin recognizing the parts of your story you want to change, you can start the process of allowing room to think about yourself differently and then to respond differently.   That requires absolute presence.  The only moment you can change a response is in the moment you’re responding.

Give yourself room to notice old storylines and acknowledge your progress in identifying them.  Once you’re aware of what you’re saying or doing you can notice if that’s a match with what you want to say or do.  If everything isn’t quite lining up, give yourself some room to grow.

“Life will give you whatever experience is the most helpful for the evolution of your consciousness. How do you know this is the experience you need? Because this is the experience you are having at this moment.” — Eckhart Tolle

Sometimes the start to a week can meet you with some resistance, depending on life stressors and the components that make up your reality.  My family started Monday off with a few bumps that we need to address, and I’ve been reminded in another conversation of how important it is to just breathe.

In for 5

Hold for 5

Out for 5

 

It’s so easy and so very helpful!!