There are so many situations in life that can be lifted with humor. I often find myself laughing when it’s deemed inappropriate by others and have decided to revel in this. We are on limited time. Why not have fun with what life presents?
If we can open our hearts and minds to allow light where there may be darkness, we have the hope of laughing with life as it rolls along instead of pushing against what we encounter.
I’d like to share a story with you from about four years ago:
A friend, lithe with long auburn hair and thoughtful brown eyes, asked me to go contra dancing with her. We had begun our friendship a few months earlier, after meeting at a school parent night. Time spent together was comprised of playground dates for our children and conversations naturally stemming between us to do with the arts as well as philosophical thinking and idealistic living. She had enjoyed this particular form of organized dance before moving to the location where we met and found contra goers in this area too. Her invitation for dancing was accepted and followed by planning the appropriate wardrobe change. I then went home to google contra dance and find out what exactly I had just agreed to doing.
Contra dance is a folk dance made up of long lines of couples. There are various groupings of instrumentalists who may be in attendance to provide music and a caller who presents each dance’s sequence of movement.
Later that evening I donned a sleeveless black t-shirt dress with scrolling vines at the bottom and my favorite pair of suede oxfords. My friend set the scene for me as we drove, parked the car, and got out to make the two block stroll over to the hall. She spoke about the beginner’s instructional time that would be offered before the dance and suggested looking for partners that knew what was going on since I would be trying to remember what steps were what. Obviously, it would be best if two people weren’t confused! I made mental notes of all her points. Before stepping into the building she thought to share a few descriptions of potentially strong dance partners; the guy with the bandana wrapped around his head is really great, the guy with the broad face and mustache will help you in the right direction if you’re going the wrong way, but oh! watch out for the guy in the dress. Wait……. what? “Steer clear of the man in a dress because something about his stare makes me uncomfortable.” I thought that was fair enough and made this last addition to my mental checklist: do not dance with the man in a dress.
We walked into the hall and the movement began. I was fortunate to find a partner who knew the dances and after several minutes in, I was thinking less and having more fun. Most of the dancers there were accustomed to the environment and easily flowed into new pairings with each number. My friend periodically checked in with me through a head nod or wave of the hand. There was so much energy being created and filtered in the space, it really was a lot of fun! After several dances had gone by, I stopped for water and watched the people enjoying themselves. One sitting out was more than enough time to recoup and be ready to jump back in. I entered the main space and was approached by a tall man in jeans and a green button down shirt with large flowers blooming sporadically across the fabric. He asked if I would be his partner for the coming dance. I said yes and we took our place in one of the three linear formations of pairs.
Prompted for no particular reason, I took a quick sideways glance to see my friend again; she was making a large eyebrow lift, but as my current dance partner was carrying along with small talk I didn’t want to be rude. I mirrored her face in recognition and turned back to listen. He trailed off into nothing having received little response from me and I remember next looking down to study the vibrant yellow lace running through the top of the oyster colored shoe. In the next moments the punctuated design around the face of the shoe became imprinted in my memory as the man spoke again. “I’ll be right back, ” he said. “The musicians are taking a short break and I’d like to get water and go to the bathroom. It will take only a minute. So, I’ll just do that and change into my dress.”
“Okay,” I heard myself reply as my eyes stayed fixed on the tops of the oxfords. The tops of the oxfords. The. Tops. Of. The. Oxfords.
A small swelling began in the pit of my stomach and grew out and up into the chest until it was on my lips in a wide silent laugh. Another laugh escaped in short exhale at the nose and then a full out smile covered a good portion of my lower face. I stood there in a room full of people having my own quiet joke; me and Life were laughing together. She likes to tease, you know – Life.
My friend was next to me in a matter of seconds. She said, “That’s the guy with the dress, he’s just not wearing it tonight.” I looked her dead on and said, “Ohhhh, he will be. He went to change into it now.” She looked concerned for me, “What will you do? Want to sit out for a water break?” We both agreed that didn’t seem right. “No. If I sit out now he’ll think it’s because of the dress. I don’t care if he’s wearing a dress.” She made an accepting frown and said, “It’s not the dress. It’s the eye contact. Watch out for the eye contact.” She scooted away to her place and I spotted my partner coming back over in a floor length frock that flowed out behind his brisk steps. The fabric of the dress appeared to be lightweight and lifted with his alternating legs in approach. As he stood before me, I could further take in the print that was crowded with roses and more roses on a beige background. The beginning of the dance instructions and music coincided with his return. In the series of steps being called, Gypsy was announced. What’s Gypsy? Following is a definition from Wikipedia:
Gypsy = A pair of dancers look each other in the eyes and walk around each other in the designated direction, without touching each other. In this way, the gypsy is somewhere between a do-si-do and a swing. The amount of eye contact depends on various factors including individual comfort and local tradition. A newer term for this, in response to some ethnic objections, is spiral.
With a visual of Bizet’s Carmen flickering in my mind, I channeled as much ‘gypsy’ as I could muster at that moment. Deciding to look intensely at his eyebrows, Life and I continued to be amused at the sequence of events in this evening. The music concluded and it was done. My friend and I made a bathroom stop and went out for a hummus and veggie plate close by. We mused over the chances of the experience. Both being willing to find the humor in most situations, we agreed that it was pretty funny and then progressed to recognizing the opportunity to make human connection through community dance. There is something unique to be found in the combination of movement and music; they join in a harmonious fashion that encourages working closely together with people you may not know very well and in an uplifting environment.
Hopefully, no matter what happens on the dance floor or in life you can appreciate the positive offerings from any setting. Don’t forget to put your sense of humor in your pocket so you can do it all with a smile, too!!
Presence and Positivity 