We know the winter of Earth as a regular experience. We expect it and prepare for the season though we may not all enjoy the cold and darkness. We have holidays, sweaters, fires, and warm drinks to comfort us along the way. Many of us create a traditional or improvised hearth in our homes to welcome family and friends as additional cheer.
Winter can be felt as more than a seasonal affair for the planet. This post, written for you mid fall, comes alongside reflection on how Jessica and I have allowed a winter in our friendship on more than one occasion. If you’re new to the blog, we are two long time friends who want to connect with you about showing up for life with as much presence and genuine positivity as we can without denying the full scope of our human experience.
We have been away from the blog for some time — a winter, if you a will. When chatting about this and if we wanted to let this space go or continue on, we remembered two distinct winters within our friendship when both of us were going through transitional time periods. When we returned to the friendship it involved a conscious decision to change our expectations around relating through different chapters of life. It also involved a total drop of ego to reach out again after a gap in communication. If you want to restart and/or maintain a friendship (whatever the distance), someone has to take the initiative of reaching out with heartfelt communication to let the other know they’re important to you and that you appreciate having them in your life.
In hindsight Jess and I know that taking big breathers (at one point a year without communication) meant not holding the other to a certain way of being based on what had been. It meant we were allowing decomposition of the old which can be sad, scary, and lonely. We have experienced its potential and beauty though collectively we are not taught to do this intentionally and I can say we were not consciously intentional at the time.
The first winter was in our late teens to early 20s after I had become part of a significant romantic relationship and Jessica had explorations to undertake that were quite different than anything we had been doing together. (Ask her about skydiving sometime.) The second winter was in our mid to late 20s with becoming a mother for me and adjusting to a new life in another part of the country for Jess as she committed to the man that is her husband today. It could seem that these are times when you want to hold a steady connection with your dear friend, but sometimes the opposite is what’s needed most – to let go- to let space do its thing.
Winter is important and necessary. You may even spy small winters within your daily cohabitation with another person and you may witness it with creative projects too. Allowing space for nothingness also allows space for new seeds to grow into new ways of relating, fresh ideas, as well as to appreciate what has changed.
As we work our way back into sharing here with you, we bring along our new ways of being since we last posted. Jessica has spent the time away training as a yoga therapist and is now living in a new location with her family. I have spent the time becoming a certified wellness coach, sound healing facilitator, and teacher of kundalini infused movement and meditation practices. We are looking forward to sharing with you in this next season!
With deep gratitude for you all — Valerie 💫
Presence and Positivity 