Author: valeriecameronmerritt

Striving in the sense of making a great effort towards something is not a bad or good thing; we often associate it with desirable character traits and outcomes.

Striving in the sense of struggle with the body, mind, or emotions can be a point for release. When striving produces an internal or external conflict, when you become at war with parts of your experience, then non striving and acceptance can be the path to relief. Even if what you face is bodily pain, sitting with the pain and accepting it for what it is may bring you a result you didn’t know was possible. This works in the mind and the emotions as well.

Becoming intimate with instead of avoiding is a practice in non striving. Coming home to your body, shining a light on your mind and emotions without judgement is a way to practice non striving. Allowing information to flow in, sitting with acceptance of whatever that looks like, and holding the space required is practice in non striving.

What in your day can be met with a shift to receive, allow, and let be?

The butterfly counts not months but moments, and has time enough.
-Rabindranath Tagore

For even the best of us get the words wrong when we want them to express such intangible and almost unsayable things.  But all the same I believe that you need not remain without solution if you hold close to nature, to what is simple in it, to the small things people hardly see and which all of a sudden can become great and immeasurable; if you have this love for what is slight, and quite unassumingly, as a servant, seek to win the confidence of what seems poor— then everything will grow easier, more unified and somehow more conciliatory, not perhaps in the intellect, which , amazed, remains a step behind, but in your deepest consciousness, watchfulness and knowledge.        

— Rilke, Letters to a Young Poet

Sometimes we are turned off by the idea of meditation because maybe it’s something that is inaccessible, difficult to master, and time consuming.  Informal meditation doesn’t have to look that way at all.  You can begin with something that you already enjoy doing and aim to be absolutely aware for as much of the process as possible.  You may already find that concentration comes naturally to you in whatever that activity is anyhow.  Becoming and staying aware of your entire self for a piece of the day could be rewarding for you in other parts of your day.

How could you apply the idea of being absolutely present, even slowing down, for an activity sometime today?  Could it happen when you’re walking or how about when you’re checking in with a family member.  Maybe you could do this in a writing activity, painting, cleaning, sitting, or anything that comes your way.  How can you check in with yourself during this time?  The idea isn’t to turn any part of yourself off but to be aware of it all without judgement or reaction.  Be, do, breathe and notice.  If you find yourself straying, notice your breath and follow it back to the activity.

Whenever old patterns return, undesirable thoughts, and poor habits, it can be helpful to remember the loving kindness meditation. It’s helpful to remember it any time but especially so when a release is desired.  It’s been shared here before and is an excellent practice to use in deep let go alongside heart centered well wishing.

Bring into your mind someone whom you love dearly.  Give yourself time to picture this person clearly and think of the good feelings you have about them.  Let this feeling grow as you say in your head or quietly aloud:

May you be healthy.  May you be happy.  May you be safe and loved.

Say this several times before bringing another person you care about in your mind.  Do this with a few people or as many as you prefer.  Once you have said this for those people in your mind that bring you warm sensation, turn the focus to yourself and say:

May you be healthy.  May you be happy.  May you be safe and loved.

Next try focusing the meditation on someone you don’t know as well, someone who carries a neutral feeling for you.

May you be healthy.  May you be happy.  May you be safe and loved.

After that has been repeated several times allow yourself to focus on someone who is more difficult for you to be around or with whom you have challenging exchanges.

May you be healthy. May you be happy.  May you be safe and loved.

Say this until any tension is felt to release and good feeling can work through you.

The meditation can be closed by saying the same words italicized in bold font with a larger scale focus.  Perhaps you could think of your neighborhood, your community, your town, the country, and end with the entire world.

“To surrender certainty in favor of openness, to accept the smallness of your everyday life whilst admitting to the magnificence of your being, to open up to the… light that pours through you into a myriad of forms, endlessly creating, destroying, creating again — this is your sacred task.”  

– Journey of Love guidebook by Alana Fairchild 

“The rule is you have to dance a little bit in the morning before you leave the house because it changes the way you walk out into the world.” – Sandra Bullock

It doesn’t matter what’s happening this week, if you can find a song you like and let yourself enjoy it, there can be a cluster of minutes that lift you up.  Try out Sandra Bullocks advice, if you haven’t already.

When this photo was taken, I was in the beginning of a separation and there was a wedding for people that both my former spouse and I were friends with.  The event was bittersweet to attend, but it was good practice in being present for others and taking part in celebrating two people coming together.  I appreciate that someone captured this because it’s joy in sadness – it’s a smile in discord – it’s a bit of bliss.  However life may challenge you, whatever you’re feeling is not all you’re capable of feeling in any given day or hour or even within a minute.  The way you start (or restart 😉) your day can domino into how the rest unfolds.

Let yourself be moved by good feeling. ☀️✨ You have an incredible capacity to smile in this very moment or the next if you will.

What is the next best thing you can do for yourself?  As you go through this day and choose your activities (or if don’t feel you have a choice in your exact activity, then your focus could instead be on choosing your thoughts about the activities) would it be possible to take a pause with each transition to be aware of what exactly you’re doing and thinking?

A simple, short pause can be a doorway to change.  In the moment of the pause, you can become present with your thoughts and choices.  That’s the moment when you can choose the next best thing for yourself.

How can your day be altered by your intention or basis in approach?  How does your everyday look if you approach things with dullness, imposed duty or even exasperation as opposed to a gentle compassion, with a sense of newness for this particular day.  What would be part of an ideal daily vision if you took a moment to look inward?  How would you feel and behave in an ideal day with no limits imposed on your imagination?

As an example in practical application, let’s say you have an exercise plan and you do it because you know it’s good for you, you want to have a certain number on the scale, and you’ll feel better after. How does this look differently if you do it because you like showing up for yourself, you notice the way your body has the capacity to move, using that  as an opportunity to take joy in movement (even if it’s not quite where or how you’d like). How does that approach change anything, if at all? Are the first reasons made subsequent instead of primary? How does exercising change with approach?

You can shift the approach to anything in your day: the way you feel about desk work, meetings, cleaning, yard work, or even standing in line — anything that has previously been viewed as a “have to” can be a “get to”.

Let positive intention and approach help you to feel your best as often as possible!