Meditation on loving kindness:
I notice how my body feels and the thoughts that occupy my mind. I give full attention to what I find there. As I focus my attention on any discomfort, tension, anxiety, fear, easiness, calm, joy, – any and all sensations residing in me- I meet them with loving kindness. I move towards and sit with the sensations I experience. There is no resistance, only acknowledgement and acceptance. With loving kindness all is dissolved and I am free of what was held.
Being curious about yourself and your experience can release judgments you may be in the practice of imposing.
Ask yourself: What can I contribute to today? How can I approach the situations I encounter with ease? How can every moment be infused with a lighter tone and willingness to explore what is offered?
Honoring a joyful curiosity is something we do naturally in childhood. Releasing the layers of conditioning brought on with age, and keeping vigilant about holding a fresh perspective will help you to see and behave differently. It will change all of your experiences.
Yesterday my sister was here for a short stay to help celebrate my daughter’s upcoming birthday. In the morning, we stepped out to take the dog for a walk before mixing up a batch of chocolate waffles for the bunch of smiley kiddos that were continuing on with us from the sleepover party started the evening before. While making our way around the neighborhood, a man in a black impala stopped to ask us for….. directions, though, he wasn’t seeking a designated spot on a map. He shared a delimia with us to do with his self expression constantly being copied by a friend. His case was of a buddy always matching up choice in cars – colors, tinting, rims, and trims- to be the same as what he chose. He asked, “how would you guys feel about this?”. My first thought was to reply, “make your peace with it” but for some reason the urge to defer to my sister was stronger than the need to speak. I’m glad because her response was so much better for this exchange! She said to him, “that’s because you have good taste” with a snap in the air. “Imitation is the highest form of flattery, isn’t that what they say!?!” The man nodded his head in agreement, feeling the truth of this saying. I joined her in sharing that had he asked me this same question ten years ago I would have felt the issue in a similar way, wanting my choices in style, decor, or other expression to stand alone as a mark of my identity. I went on to say that when we are firmly rooted, owning ourselves and our choices, we don’t care if someone copies them because: “hey! I’m at peace with myself and my choices and I love my ideas and why shouldn’t you too.” He smiled at us and said, “I’m glad I asked you about this.” He drove on and Jen and I took a moment to hash out why it was better for her to speak first. She had the ‘right’ way to relate and then opened our visitor to receiving the idea of loving yourself first, so it’s easy for others to do so as well.
It’s important to get the context spot on before moving into new territory with change and rewiring perspective. So often we need to open to another way of thinking, but the combination or code for understanding communication has to be matched first.
When you find yourself in a cycle of thinking that weighs down your energy or that you realize doesn’t support a positive flow or peacefulness, you can either let it go or change the channel. Sometimes letting something go isn’t easy, but if you can learn to place your attention on things that feel good, it may help you let go more quickly. Switching the channel and letting go can be the same thing or work as feeders into the other. What channel can you switch to when everything in your day is off? How can you let go when you’ve got a huge problem staring you in the face? The most effective channel I’ve tried is gratitude. Making a list of the things that are going well and that you’re thankful for is helpful. You may find other channels that help you to switch gears or let go through art, exercise, nature, or otherwise depending on your passions. Gratitude, however, is a failsafe for all.
For the weekend ahead, choose a person you care about. Visualize the person surrounded by your blessings and glowing light. Pay attention to their presence, words, and actions. Notice if there’s a stronger connection or understanding after dedicating yourself to their wellbeing in this way.
“I haven’t failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.” – Thomas Edison
I can’t think of a more positive way to perceive failure. There is so much to learn from trying different ideas and finding new ways to approach creativity, exchanges in relationships, and even understanding ourselves. We all fail and we all make mistakes. What counts most is what we learn and how we choose to change. Here’s to perceiving failures, in whatever form they present, as stepping stones to learning!
Think about the language you use with topics and towards others and that thread of thought that constantly runs in your mind. What is given life within you and then communicated to others? Watch yourself for self defeating lingo and behaviors. If you’re not aware, you may find yourself draining the life from what you love and what loves you.
Give yourself permission to have full presence with the gifts of life. You don’t have to cut yourself off from people or things thinking you do not deserve them or that you must have done something in particular to have them. You can readily accept what is before you. It is waiting to be recognized and held with gratitude.
And more than being grateful – you can breathe a steady flow of life into what you love, and do it emphatically! The whole universe will thank you for allowing love to work through you this way!
Happy Wishes Everyone!
Jess and I have chatted a lot over the last week about showing up for yourself. We hope you will focus on the most positive way you can be there for what’s in your best interest. Can you carve out time to walk, swim, bike, stretch, or meditate? Can you speak kindly to yourself? Can you smile in the mirror? Can you be present with your meals? Can you say to yourself that you are important enough to make time to do the things that will ultimately lead you to feeling better? Can you be accountable for showing up and loving yourself?
Starting small is perfect and practicing yourself into a larger habit will come easily with little increments!
A post of support for the sensitive soul:
I would like to suggest that there is no such thing as too sensitive, only the level of sensitivity that suits you. To whatever degree you find yourself sensing and responding to the world around you, this point of experience must be your current intersection with need. If the sensitivity is excruciating for you, perhaps the need is to awaken to your own power in releasing yourself from the emotional state, however, if the sensitivity level that matches you makes another person uncomfortable let us say that this is not your issue. If you find yourself hearing, “you are too sensitive”, I hope you will own your gift in living with the fullness of the senses that are yours for this lifetime. Please tell me why you are here if not to sense and respond to this world?
If you, like me, seem to feel every emotion magnified – can you find the delightful offering in this? Sure, it can have a downside but there is also an incredible upside when you learn to turn the tides as they ride in to you. In valuing yourself and the experience you are having through knowing your inherent worth and the worth of what life shares with you, you can find healthy outlets through the senses. Welcome the gifts of your soul to find a home in your life. The circumstances that match your level of sensitivity through sameness or contrasting polarities will be drawn to you!
Seeking fulfillment outside of yourself is a lively game, that has many of us captured in it’s allure for the majority of our time. We seek fulfillment in our work, defining and inflating the sense of self with our accomplishments. We look for it in physical pleasure, through technology, games, and movies. Sometimes we partake in over indulgences with food, drink, and other vices because it helps to numb the emptiness we feel. We associate this emptiness with an outside need. We need other people and things to fill it up or distract us from this void we feel inside. There are so many distractions that we see as normal in our culture.
There is nothing outside of you that can satisfy you indefinitely. You will grow bored with what you have and you will seek more or you will seek different.
Everything you need to feel fulfilled is inside of you. It’s hidden under the layers of distractions that have become the standard in your life. A quiet space with dedicated focus on deep breathing and connecting to your inner self will lead you to a greater contentment and peacefulness than anything you will find outside of yourself.
The love, the sense of wholeness, the feelings of contentment are all waiting there for you to uncover…
Presence and Positivity 