“If everyone loves you, you’re probably playing it waaay too safe.  If you’re real, at least a few people might be annoyed.  A little criticism can sometimes be a very good sign.”  –  Tosha Silver 

Sometimes we have to speak up or we may choose to hold silence to honor what feels right in discerning response to situations.  If your truth steps on somebody’s toes, maybe that’s okay once in a while.  People can grow through and because of tension, which isn’t to say you should create it unnecessarily but you also don’t have to avoid those tight spots.  You may find that facing an uncomfortable situation clears the air to relate on more agreeable terms or you may find that a silent composition is the best answer.  Being quiet isn’t necessarily an avoidance as it may convey a peaceable intention.  However, silence can be misinterpreted as it leaves room to wonder.  Do what is real for you.  Speak when you need to and hold silence when that’s your honest and real response.

Thank you to  Rachael King for the incredible photo!

How can I make use of the emotions that pass through me?  

Be a witness first to what you feel.  See it.  With awareness you can choose to follow the feelings of your experience into an expression of stillness and release, or maybe your energy transfer takes on some other kind of movement.  It could become anything.  Observe your emotion as a gift with potential to morph into a clean room, a sketch, a poem, a reflective writing exercise, a long swim, a run, a thundering laugh or however life wants to move and play through you.  It may feel easier to be fluid with whatever you’re experiencing if you can give yourself enough separateness from the emotion to understand it has the capacity to serve beyond its initial presentation.

Look to the emotion when deciding what pairs best as a response. Listen to your body.  Listen to your internal knowing.

Photograph from Rachael King

Body scans are a wonderful way to relax the body.  If you haven’t tried a body scan before I hope you will consider this short example or another elsewhere.  There are lots of options online and through mindfulness and meditation apps.

Remember to be kind and meet your body wherever it is today.  If you have areas that are tight, be gentle and accepting of what’s currently present.  Release and relax as much as you can.  If breathing into various locations in the body is a new idea and seems a little strange, you may find it brings focus to that area and creates a deeper release.  View it as play.

A script for body scan and ease:

I notice my toes and the balls of my feet.  I breathe into them.  With my exhalation the toes and the balls of my feet melt away.

I notice the arches of my feet.  I breathe into to them.  With my exhalation the arches melt away.

I notice the heels of my feet.  I breathe into them.  With my exhalation my heels soften and melt away.

I notice my ankles.  I breathe into them.  As I exhale my ankles become soft and melt away.

continue the pattern through the calves, knees, thighs, hips and pelvis, abdominal area, lower back, chest, upper back, shoulders, elbows, wrists, palms, fingers, neck, jaw, mouth, ears, nose, eyes, forehead, back of the head, top of the head, and altogether whole body.

Guided with Hearts Awakening by Parijat

To the mind that is still, the whole universe surrenders. ~Lao Tzu

Learning to balance between being and doing can be mystifying  in our culture that associates so much worth with action.  Allowing time to simply inhabit your body and to be still is the perfect response to action.  Your everyday experience warrants a place for both.

When you have moments of downtime or you find yourself waiting for an appointment or readying for sleep, consider taking a moment to check in and notice how you feel, where your thoughts are focused, and remember to allow everything inside and outside of you to be at ease.

Give yourself permission to just be and look for  peace in this.  Doing is only a piece of the puzzle, not the entire picture.  Contentment is a worthy friend of satisfaction and deserves your company too.

 

I’ve been going through things left around the home from previous owners or tenants and emptying them out and now have to decide what stays and what goes.  This external step and it’s internal reflection presents an opportunity to face the shadow self.  Even if in cleaning up you don’t process it at that level and know why it feels good, it’s a surface layer of what could be a deeper exploration. What patterns, reactions, and storage are part of what you have been immersed in with developmental and later chosen environments?  Are you hosting learned or outdated patterns now? If you are, and they’re not serving a greater good, how about a little cleanup?

Approach this with curiosity instead of judgement.  Find it interesting to recognize behaviors and even contradictions within yourself and others.  Shake out the inner contents and you may find light where there was darkness.

The box above has been impossible for me to move.  I had a moment in this ongoing need to release things, where I had to figure out what was in there.  I needed to know why it was so heavy.  As I turned it over and rolled it a few feet along, dirt, pieces of brick, and all sorts of squirmy friends went fleeing.  With the passing days that I’ve photographed changes and different angles, the box shows a little more light shining through the slats.  It’s a good reminder of why we need to physically release, emotionally release, and time to adjust.

 

Come into a comfortable seat or resting on your back. Close your eyes.  This is a time to be comfortable and to rest. Let go of anything weighing you down. You don’t have to carry so much.  Let your shoulders drop and soften.  Let your throat soften.  Let your jaw soften.  Let your eyes soften.

Imagine your favorite color floating like a scarf in front of you. Stay with the scarf, watching it move.  Let the scarf move with a wind that has come in to pick it up and drop it down, never falling, but just floating easily. You can stay there with the scarf floating easily.  Let whatever thoughts or feelings that have been weighing on you now become streams of light. Watch every thought become a stream of light. Imagine these streams of light moving from your head towards your heart center and circling until every singular thought or feeling has gathered there in your chest, circling. Imagine the circle becoming a ball of swirling light. Remember the favorite color scarf floating in front of you?  It is still floating in front of you.  It’s right outside of your heart center.  The scarf is right outside of your chest and that swirling ball of light is now moving out and over to the scarf. Feel yourself become weightless as the ball of light moves over to be with the scarf.  The thoughts and feelings that have been burdensome are now with the scarf.  Everything is held for you.  Imagine the scarf enveloping the ball and both slowly floating higher and higher up into the sky until you can’t see either any longer.

Let yourself rest easy for a little while longer. Breathe deep into your belly. Feel it rise and notice it fall as you breathe out easily. Stay with your breath. The only thing to do for now is breathe.

Guided voice with a recording of Steve Anderson playing Suite Bergamasque, L. 75: III. Clair De Lune by Claude Debussy

“If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be happy, practice compassion.” – Dalai Lama

You never know what someone is going through just as what you experience cannot be known unless you have shared. Everyone has their own unique set of circumstances and challenges.

Be understanding before you’re asked to be. Be forgiving without reason. Practice feeling empathy for the unknown because there is, has been, or will undoubtedly be something difficult to juggle for every person you meet.

Assume that each person is deserving of your compassion simply because they are.