I can’t tell you how many times I’ve visited this topic with my closest female friend and my sister. We all have a more friendly outgoing nature when we are in situations that put us at ease or there’s not a threat of some kind that causes a need to monitor your natural energy. Once in a while for some folks this is a problem because they assume the friendliness is flirting; you must be asking for more with being so darn friendly. The thing is, for each of us, that’s not the case. Friendly equals friendly and that’s it.
Many years ago a woman in a shop greeted my sister and I when we were in our extra exuberant playful and friendly energy with a comment that allowed me more understanding about this. She said, “Wow, you two are super joyful. That’s such a high vibe.” I was able to see it as simply an energy mismatch for another person if they weren’t feeling joyful and if joy felt too far away to access in that moment, it could be annoying.
When the friendliness causes others to feel uncomfortable or threatened, it’s truly a reminder to look within. It can help us look at what it would take to get back to joy, if that’s what we’d ultimately like to do. It can also help us to accept that we are in a different feeling state than someone else and skip the judgements. You have to start with asking what it is about you or your life experiences that feels uncomfortable in that external friendliness and joy? Must there be an ulterior motive if that’s your assumption?
I take this advice for myself too. Anytime something makes me uncomfortable, I pause to ask the feeling what is has to teach me. What do I need to learn? Just today something made me uncomfortable, and this evening, I will take that to my meditation as well as journaling time. I know it’s to do with authority and control as well as a tendency to sour at systems that seek to contort us from our true expressions, however, there must still be something to learn because I had a feeling cue today that kept me from expressing the joy that could have moved though me in response. I don’t write this to suggest that Joy is a more important feeling than any other feeling or that other feelings are meant to be overlooked or escaped. Every feeling has value and I think it’s important to stay with each feeling for as long as what may come from it has some good for you. It’s just as important to understand we choose how we feel by what we focus on.
Here’s to being honest with ourselves and staying open to learning when the opportunities present. May we be aware enough to see ourselves clearly and to hold steady or change depending on what’s required so that more of our soul light can be inhabited in each moment. ✨💛✨
Presence and Positivity 