Consideration for others is the basis of a good life, a good society. — Confucius
Communities work best when people think beyond themselves and their own joy. It can usually be beneficial to pause actions when your happiness causes a loss of peace to another.
Is the action necessary?
Can the action be adjusted for the peace of all?
Where is the line between honoring yourself and being selfish?
When people care how their actions impact the lives of others, contentment and good feeling may prevail in connections.
A generous heart is always open, always ready to receive our going and coming. In the midst of such love we need never fear abandonment. This is the most precious gift true love offers – the experience of knowing we always belong.
— Bell Hooks
You will always have yourself, Beautiful Soul.
Grow the sense of belonging from within.
It’s difficult not to outsource this need but worth it to work on creating a strong sense of belonging with yourself. If ever you should find a loved one walking away from you and possibly repeatedly, this is invaluable work.
Today we move with Jupiter, the planet of expansion and luck, into Leo , the fire sign of heart led passion. And what is Leo not passionate about?! When Leo is inhabited in its highest expression, fear fades away and love takes center stage in expansive thinking leading to generous ways of being. There are so many ways to be generous with yourself – with your listening, with your smile, with your fully embodied presence. The places where you used to hold back, are now ready to be held with honest visibility and absolute divine grace shining through.
With this in mind, I ask you to pause today and consider how you may personally move with this lucky heart centered placement over the next year while Jupiter holds this energy.
What in your life is ready to expand?
Where could you use some extra love and luck in your life? What may change in this area by honing in and giving your undivided, trusting focus here?
How can you live more and more each day from your heart to expand beyond the obstacles you perceive today?
What can be held with curiosity over fear? Dearest, what does happen when you trade fear for curiosity?
What pattern is playing in your mind that needs to be thrown in the trash? I’m not good enough. I’m too old. That’s too expensive. Perhaps it’s something else.
You will see clearly what needs to go when you pause to ask your heart for guidance:
1. Heart, as Jupiter moves to Leo to inhabit the generously heart-led energy of the Lion, how can I expand to assume luck and love are mine to experience in every possible form?
2. What script, conscious or unconscious is ready to be released from my field?
Give yourself plenty of space and time with these points of reflection. The answers may come straight away or they may appear to you over time through your own vessel, through others, in songs, in the title of some article, or in nature. Stay open, Sweet Souls to the beautiful ways Spirit may communicate with you.
I’m right here with you asking myself these questions. Everyone has work to do, even when they’ve done so much already. There’s always room to grow.
I can’t tell you how many times I’ve visited this topic with my closest female friend and my sister. We all have a more friendly outgoing nature when we are in situations that put us at ease or there’s not a threat of some kind that causes a need to monitor your natural energy. Once in a while for some folks this is a problem because they assume the friendliness is flirting; you must be asking for more with being so darn friendly. The thing is, for each of us, that’s not the case. Friendly equals friendly and that’s it.
Many years ago a woman in a shop greeted my sister and I when we were in our extra exuberant playful and friendly energy with a comment that allowed me more understanding about this. She said, “Wow, you two are super joyful. That’s such a high vibe.” I was able to see it as simply an energy mismatch for another person if they weren’t feeling joyful and if joy felt too far away to access in that moment, it could be annoying.
When the friendliness causes others to feel uncomfortable or threatened, it’s truly a reminder to look within. It can help us look at what it would take to get back to joy, if that’s what we’d ultimately like to do. It can also help us to accept that we are in a different feeling state than someone else and skip the judgements. You have to start with asking what it is about you or your life experiences that feels uncomfortable in that external friendliness and joy? Must there be an ulterior motive if that’s your assumption?
I take this advice for myself too. Anytime something makes me uncomfortable, I pause to ask the feeling what is has to teach me. What do I need to learn? Just today something made me uncomfortable, and this evening, I will take that to my meditation as well as journaling time. I know it’s to do with authority and control as well as a tendency to sour at systems that seek to contort us from our true expressions, however, there must still be something to learn because I had a feeling cue today that kept me from expressing the joy that could have moved though me in response. I don’t write this to suggest that Joy is a more important feeling than any other feeling or that other feelings are meant to be overlooked or escaped. Every feeling has value and I think it’s important to stay with each feeling for as long as what may come from it has some good for you. It’s just as important to understand we choose how we feel by what we focus on.
Here’s to being honest with ourselves and staying open to learning when the opportunities present. May we be aware enough to see ourselves clearly and to hold steady or change depending on what’s required so that more of our soul light can be inhabited in each moment. ✨💛✨
It has come to my attention in the last weeks that living your words, holding yourself to your ideals, can come with uncharted territory – especially if your ideals are not aligned with the norm. Non judgement is the specific topic in mind. Living in a state that truly makes no judgements about people, may leave you without intuition to assist you in navigating various situations. You may feel adrift in deciding something about someone or something if you’ve moved away from the practice of making snap judgements or concluding something without definites before you. While this is disorienting at first, it also opens a space within you of allowance. Information that is accurate can be received in the space of allowance with time and openness. You may be provided with a large gap in questioning and knowing; you may find yourself months or years away from your answer, however, the answers will always come in the way you can receive them.
We are accustomed to instant gratification and to judgements. Once you begin this path of unlearning what you thought you knew and allowing each person and situation to show you who they are or what it is, I believe you can expect to be surprised by yourself and others. Will the surprises be pleasant? That depends on your attachment to the outcome. If you can practice non-judgement along with letting go of expectation while embracing your efforts to bring more light and love into this world, then the revelations cannot be unpleasant. Things just are what they are and you can greet that with open arms.
It was the anonymity. He wanted to be unknown, unpossessed by others’ knowledge of him. That was freedom.
— Ling Ma
Quite a while back I was taken by the idea of paying it forward, inspired to choose random folks and random acts of kindness whenever the mood struck me. Typically this would be expressed out and about where crossing paths again if spotted was less likely. As my personal yoga practice grew and my heart space more embodied, I began bringing the giving in closer to home as well — perhaps dropping off something unexpected here or there but staying anonymous. It was fun, there were no expectations, and no one had a person to tie in to the act of receiving so we were all free in the experience.
At one point I had my kids looped in after we first moved to our current sanctuary and we made quite the summer day of shopping for our neighbors, stuffing bags full of whatever snacks and treats a 7 and 10 year old may choose, and then driving around to the 52 mail boxes to leave the shares anonymously. We would drive a little, park, all jump out with bags and scatter, then repeat until it was complete. One or two folks saw us but what unfolded later on the neighborhood list serve was just as fun; no one who posted actually saw us though they described a vehicle and people not like us and they had a bit of entertainment speculating. It was decided we had neighborhood fairies and they were all quite happy with their bags. Over the years people have still mentioned it and just last week (9 years later) a neighbor told me she thought it was us and that she still has the stickers my kids put in the bag.
I still appreciate a sweet pay it forward moment these days and I’ve come to the place of being able to own my sharing now too, but it wasn’t always easy for me when my name was attached because of the complexities that are possible with giving and receiving.
I spoke with my counselor about these shares back when the kids and I made the best of that summer day and she suggested I do this more personally in a way where I was allowed to be seen. It wasn’t comfortable, but I leaned into who in my community may be able to receive with an open heart and set about sharing baked goods or otherwise in various scenarios. With time, this grew into steady cycles in my life of giving and receiving without strings attached. I can give, receive, stay present, and be seen with ease. In a recent instance, I dropped off a share at one home and within twenty minutes someone else from another household had left a share at my home! I really took a long joyful pause that day with how wonderful it can be to step into the flow of giving without expectation; you may not have the freedom of anonymity but you may gain a sense of rightness with life that comes from being seen by others.
I’m sure you’ve heard the saying “one man’s trash is another man’s treasure”. After a little fun yesterday setting up a treasure hunt with one of my children for anyone who may like a diversion in the neighborhood, I’m thinking one mans treasure is not necessarily valuable to everyone because at least the first person who found it, checked the bag and left it assembled differently. To me that’s a lovely thing too because whoever that was didn’t value what they found enough to take it along with them and if something doesn’t match up with you, it certainly need not be a part of your journey. Where our values live helps us to connect with others who hold similar views and pass when not. The little bag makes me think of relationships in another way too: how many times have you met someone, spent some time with them, and found yourself altered after time together? Maybe after checking each other out something just didn’t line up or maybe it did for a time and then it was done. C’est la vie.
When looking to understand something or someone, try to hold off on categorizing too soon. Give it time to reveal itself naturally.
We can often be mistaken in our labeling, seeing one thing that is truly something else altogether.
Perhaps that first assumption plays its part well enough but the details have their value in color, form, and saturation. If you take your time with all the information while giving every aspect breathing space and permission to be different than you thought, you may be pleasantly surprised by the freedom from limiting labels.
I have been blessed with a lens into the most beautiful support from women in the last few years that allows one to hope for a nurturing future of how we connect to one another in community. Honestly, I have been lucky to have a handful of wonderful friendships from a young age with girls who have become lovely women. I know not every woman is so fortunate, however, the choices for women are evolving. I have been part of a group of women who are absolutely dedicated to supporting each other however they show up for the love of sacred feminine energy re-emerging on this planet. That means all judgements and comparisons are dropped and competition is not entertained as necessary or desirable, and not just because a woman has aged out of being perceived as a threat; acceptance is offered with camaraderie simply because you showed up. Wow, yes to more of this!
—————————————————————
We all have our own paths and learn how to be in the world based on our familial exposures and that cannot escape the over culture that creates our conditioning on a larger scale. I grew up in a household of a working mother and my closest friends in elementary as well as middle school had mothers that stayed at home and maybe who decided to work when they were older, some in traditional systems and one as an artist from her own space. My mother focused on work outside the home and with time became the breadwinner of our family. It was a different dynamic than the other households of my friends. I noticed their mothers were more relaxed and perhaps happier in some regards while I knew my own mother was pleased with what she had been able to create in her life after marrying my father while still in high school. I was proud of my mom and felt she was an excellent example of dedication to making the best of your circumstances.
Years down the line, I was surprised when I found myself desiring to stay at home with my children, and I felt it created an assumed point of disappointment with my mother though now I know differently. Before this — my work as an elementary music teacher had already faced the judgement of females who had chosen careers of more influence and power. I found as I moved in the world as an early twenty something that elementary public education was not so valued by many. Parents of students were unbelievably disrespectful and colleges of my at the time husband who was studying medicine on occasion belittled the work calling it “cute” or “adorable” (never his male colleges by the way, only the females) which when I was still living from an immature ego myself, infuriated me. I felt my work was important but also that because it was with children, knew it was perceived as less valuable. This is nonsense, of course, because music works across both hemispheres of the brain to create better coordination and advanced thinking as well as providing an emotional processing platform for youth among other things. Working with children is an incredibly powerful point of shifting the future reality of humanity as we mold the subconscious and nurture belief systems with more ease at that impressionable period of life. If you want to make a change, do it within yourself and then with your children.
With my spiritual work and diligence to changing patterns within the familial line that I knew were not going to be passed on to my children and enough years staying at home to deeply accept my choice, I now no longer care how I am perceived by a woman who has chosen differently. I knew what I had to do once the children were here and I have the good fortunate of being supported in doing so for which I am eternally grateful. I didn’t want the rearing of my children in the hands of paid providers. There’s nothing like being faced with your ingrained patterns as well as those of the other parent day in and out, and work outside of your home can make the perfect escape so that outdated patterns persist. Can you work and make these changes? Yes, absolutely, if you are self aware with a want to improve, you can. Can you stay at home and ignore needed change? Yes, absolutely. Immersion made the way clear here.
These life experiences have created for me a vantage point of total support for other women in whatever they choose so long as their hearts are happy and they have the support they need in however their paths take direction. However, I sometimes still encounter a woman who carries a sharp edge in her tone for the woman who stays at home, maybe she dismisses her as less important than other woman who work or makes defensive comments for her choice. While I don’t care how I am perceived, I do care for the good of women and the connections women are able to form. If the working woman can see that the work of living everyday for every person has its inherent value regardless of the system or the kind of work — it would release her from judgement. If the woman working feels judged as somehow less of a mother or less of a woman, how far from the truth is that? It’s only as true as we give it belief. If the woman choosing to stay at home can be at peace with the work she is offering as just as valid as whatever current societal stories are pitching, we may all be able to claim our womanhood for however it fits each of us best. We are all Goddesses, as far I am concerned and we are all working, children or not.
If we could drop these judgements, how much better would we all be?
Imagine if we replaced all the judging and comparison with lifting each other up. What if we women united and allowed ourselves to be in the energy of fierce love and devotion to one another simply because we can see that’s where real influence and power can thrive for the good of us all?
Presence and Positivity 