Tag: food

Mindful Eating

I grew up in a household that valued eating out. A lot of meals were in or from restaurants which I remember preferring as a teenager and into my twenties. I did shift gears during those teenage years to cutting red meat, pork, and fried foods when I developed an interest in keeping restaurant options to healthier choices and when I became aware of my body as an instrument. I found that when I ate healthier I felt better and I sounded better too. During my first pregnancy I let the guidelines slip as my cravings with that babe included burgers, bacon, and salsa; it was super out of character for the foods normal to me at the time but I went with it. The second pregnancy was totally different with wanting more bread, cheese, and jams and thankfully felt a bit more in line with what I may choose when not pregnant. As I shifted out of the impact of child bearing into nursing with each infant, I found myself brining in new lenses on what I was eating and what I would be feeding my children. Being responsible for their bodies too began to shift my relationship with what was on the plate and eating out. As nursing moved into a time period for me to reset my body, I found myself only wanting to reserve eating out for special occasions or if restaurant meals picked up because life was busy, sticking with salads, healthy grains, and protein to get a better handle on exactly what was in the food. I needed points of regulation and this helped me tremendously. I also picked up reading material such as different cultural relationships with food (Reading “French Woman Don’t Get Fat when I was in my late twenties gave me a lot to think about as I saw such striking differences between how I grew up relating to food in America versus what this author shares.) as well as other ideas like eating for your blood type, choosing natural sugars, whole dairy in moderation, increasing fiber, and at one point being pescatarian with my son for a year when he wanted to try this.

Considering different ways to approach my relationship with food alongside cooking at home gave me a satisfaction in caring for my body and my family in a way that didn’t happen when I was only invested in taste and ease. Sure, if the meal were executed in fine dining style, then maybe I did go at a snail’s pace savoring every bit of the way and let taste rule but there’s something exquisite in reserving that for a sometimes treat. For ordinary daily living, the act of planning what to prepare, shopping for meals, letting it be simple more often than not, going slow with the process of cooking, and then eating in our home turned into a practice of mindfulness and joy. I know that even though we are unfortunately fast eaters, this slowed at least me down. I learned to consciously bring love and care in my mind and then into my body while making the meals so that the food would be infused with good feeling energy. The entire experience of nourishing yourself and others can work as a multilayered meditative process.

Over the years, the impulse to eat out and the draw of new food novelty or familiar indulgence comforts more often than not was replaced with: “I’ll feel better after if I make it at home.” or “How can I get creative with what’s in the house and caring for myself / loved ones?” Do I still have moments of ease with ordering out and is it sometimes fried? Yes, I do and it is! Have I cut desserts? Absolutely not. I love them. ☺️ However, it’s a choice made with awareness. I don’t have rules about cutting anymore outside of heavily processed foods. These changes over the years have cultivated gratitude for the food before me. Not only did my food waste significantly fall off but I learned that there are many gifts in food prepared with love in a space that is your sanctuary.

Basque Cheesecake we enJOYed last week. 💕

Good Enough

Many folks struggle with perfectionism across different fields. We may want any extension of ourselves to be perceived as perfect in the workplace or even as a hobbyist. Truly this depends on your internal scripts and your intentionality in being. My personal experience began in musical expression, primarily vocal, for the enjoyment I found there. With interest leading to classical study, I found myself in a world of strict do’s and don’ts which shaped me and prepared me to execute some things I didn’t know I was capable of and in other ways stripped me of my authentic voice. I didn’t continue with a disciplined personal study of music for more than 8 years before trading the trainee role for a teachers role. Once in that position and honing in on the child’s experience of music, I began to see the value of play over perfectionism. With each year, I witnessed more benefit in play and exploration of sound for its power in creating meaningful experiences. I wondered at the value of the work I did with youth choral groups shaping them into various visions of mine. While that provided satisfaction for me in some regards, the overall learning experience and embodiment of expression was far greater in sound play without prescribed performance goals.

As that part of my life wrapped up and I found myself staying at home with my own children, other creative goals crept in and I found my internal script for what was good enough to share and what wasn’t as strong as ever. I wrote poetry without telling anyone what I was up to so I’d not have to hear a critique and knowing the minute it was under someone else’s gaze, my own would become harsher. I began baking with the aim of perfecting pie crust because I’m goal oriented and I needed that idea of perfection to run the actions enough times to understand what makes a marvelous flaky crust. The baking interest continued beyond pie crust and strongly alongside writing poetry, however, the baking I found myself sharing with others. It was safer somehow even though it too can invite critique and there are quite a few ways to screw up a batch of cookies or turn out a cake that’s a total flop. Even so, when it’s flour, fat, and liquid that fails it somehow seems more forgivable than a poorly executed score or script.

I did find myself tossing baked goods that just weren’t good enough to share because I was constantly trying new recipes and not necessarily focused on making something tried and true. However, as the years roll on and I no longer run mind scripts about getting things perfect because I’ve dropped that concept as a worthy effort, I let myself share baked goods that would have never made it out of my house ten years ago. I experiment with recipes and share them while usually letting folks know, “hey, this isn’t my best and I’m working on that recipe.” Or “wow, this isn’t my favorite recipe. Would you like to try it anyhow?” Most people don’t care at all. They appreciate the honesty and will try your less than best with open anticipation for the next round. I’ve found there’s a lot of freedom in sharing whatever it is that’s been made and being ok with that not meaning anything about me except that I’m a walking example of what it means to free yourself from the grips of perfectionism.

Once you allow this into one part of your life, it can take hold elsewhere and you may find yourself capable of loving yourself and others with a lot less expectation and much more ease.