Tag: Intention

Unexpressed

Today I heard someone say, “Unexpressed gratitude is interpreted as entitlement or even ingratitude.”

So I’m curious about this. The topic was to do with ongoing, close relationships where people sometimes get lazy in communicating what they appreciate about one another.

Does it apply in the broader scope of relating? Something to consider…

I’m taking this as a reminder to write out my thanks for the wonderful experiences (no matter how small) over the holiday season! 💛

Every genuine thank you lifts the spirt of another. It’s absolutely worth your time.

A Necessary Winter

We know the winter of Earth as a regular experience. We expect it and prepare for the season though we may not all enjoy the cold and darkness. We have holidays, sweaters, fires, and warm drinks to comfort us along the way. Many of us create a traditional or improvised hearth in our homes to welcome family and friends as additional cheer.

Winter can be felt as more than a seasonal affair for the planet. This post, written for you mid fall, comes alongside reflection on how Jessica and I have allowed a winter in our friendship on more than one occasion. If you’re new to the blog, we are two long time friends who want to connect with you about showing up for life with as much presence and genuine positivity as we can without denying the full scope of our human experience.

We have been away from the blog for some time — a winter, if you a will. When chatting about this and if we wanted to let this space go or continue on, we remembered two distinct winters within our friendship when both of us were going through transitional time periods. When we returned to the friendship it involved a conscious decision to change our expectations around relating through different chapters of life. It also involved a total drop of ego to reach out again after a gap in communication. If you want to restart and/or maintain a friendship (whatever the distance), someone has to take the initiative of reaching out with heartfelt communication to let the other know they’re important to you and that you appreciate having them in your life.

In hindsight Jess and I know that taking big breathers (at one point a year without communication) meant not holding the other to a certain way of being based on what had been. It meant we were allowing decomposition of the old which can be sad, scary, and lonely. We have experienced its potential and beauty though collectively we are not taught to do this intentionally and I can say we were not consciously intentional at the time.

The first winter was in our late teens to early 20s after I had become part of a significant romantic relationship and Jessica had explorations to undertake that were quite different than anything we had been doing together. (Ask her about skydiving sometime.) The second winter was in our mid to late 20s with becoming a mother for me and adjusting to a new life in another part of the country for Jess as she committed to the man that is her husband today. It could seem that these are times when you want to hold a steady connection with your dear friend, but sometimes the opposite is what’s needed most – to let go- to let space do its thing.

Winter is important and necessary. You may even spy small winters within your daily cohabitation with another person and you may witness it with creative projects too. Allowing space for nothingness also allows space for new seeds to grow into new ways of relating, fresh ideas, as well as to appreciate what has changed.

As we work our way back into sharing here with you, we bring along our new ways of being since we last posted. Jessica has spent the time away training as a yoga therapist and is now living in a new location with her family. I have spent the time becoming a certified wellness coach, sound healing facilitator, and teacher of kundalini infused movement and meditation practices. We are looking forward to sharing with you in this next season!

With deep gratitude for you all — Valerie 💫

Next

Sometime towards the end of summer I took my daughter and a fellow teen friend to the mall. Near the end of the outing I needed a bathroom break and the closest restroom had a short line of women waiting. I joined the wall of resting backs and side leaning shoulders. A hallway that may have been filled with idle chitchat seemed quieter under face masks and bags of purchases created little forts around each woman’s feet. When the door swung open to admit the next person in line the exiting woman peered out at the waiting people and apologized, “Oh, I’m sorry.” and she hurried past. Two more women joined the wait behind me, one with a back to the wall and the other erect with arms crossed. After some time the woman who was second in my wait emerged with one babe on her hip and another holding her hand. She too apologized to everyone as she stepped out. The pattern played on. I wondered why in the world these women were apologizing. Were we not all in line for the same reason? Are we sorry for another person waiting? Is waiting an inconvenience or perhaps simply occupying space? Who knows — maybe all and maybe some or none of that. What I did know was that I would not feel bad about a bodily need when it was my turn and I would not apologize when I stepped out.

When I did walk out, I decided to say, “Next!” with a smile that my eyes had to convey.

Women over apologizing isn’t a new topic. I remember reading about the issue in a magazine when I was a teenager — long before taking my own teenager shopping. No matter your sex, perpetuating unhealthy patterns is something we can all examine and decide to change if needed. Save your apologizes for when they’re truly meant and let your words carry their weight with intention. With attention to exactly what you are saying, you may have more joy in whatever comes next for you.

Pebble Meditation

This is a guided breathing awareness meditation with pebble visualization for relaxation and insight. You can choose any intention or focus area ahead of listening to the recording. If you’re at a loss for what that may look like, you could consider ideas such as “I intend to see clearly my next steps.”, ”I intend to live with more joy.”, “I intend to release blocks around my self expression.”, or perhaps “I intend to connect authentically with others.” These are starting points, but feel free to move with any intention or theme. What you choose ahead will guide you best as you know you need.

For the exercise, gather paper and pen. Write your intention out on the paper and speak it aloud or in your head three times. Prepare yourself to sit comfortably in a chair, keep the paper and pen close by to make notes after listening to the recording. Start the recording and close your eyes. ✨🙏🏼✨

Link to Recording:

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1vvgPWyNmeniiNV-2tS5oEfWDG4jpnu9M/view?usp=drivesdk

(This recording has sounds not too far off in the background. With the spirit of mindful awareness, if you find yourself distracted by the background sounds, let that be, and gently guide yourself to focus on the sound of my voice. If you find your mind wandering, practice in the same way, with gentle guidance back to the voice.)

Attention

“The present moment is filled with joy and happiness. If you are attentive, you will see it.” – Thich Nhat Hanh

Energy follows intention and attention. People see what they place their attention on and whatever that focus is, is what grows. The moment you are in now has the potential to be filled with joy and happiness if that is what you seek.

What happens if you allow just a few moments to notice the joys in both your external and internal world?

Let simplicity hold your experience as expectation falls away.