Tag: unconditional

Crystalline Consciousness

I was so tempted to title this one “Christ Consciousness” but I realized that what I want to share goes beyond that in a way and many folks are turned off by what they immediately assume has a religious correlation because of misaligned beliefs or negative experiences with religious practices. So many have experienced shame around their desires and their body not to mention that many religions have purposefully blamed the feminine and deleted Her from holy language. How interesting, considering we live in a world where no person may exist without the portal of the womb held within the sacred vessel of women. What is not to revere in the mystery of creation and honor in the bodies of both female and male? We are all both masculine and feminine energy inhabited to various degrees that may require balancing and it makes sense that our belief system may feel better supported by spiritual practice that holds both masculine and feminine energy as well as male and female bodies with reverence, however they may express. Please flow with me as I speak about the masculine and feminine in their energetic forms as well as refer to the physical genders while not getting caught in the details of labeling beyond what feels true as your personal mix of energy and your own relationship to religious experience as it pertains to the feminine aspect being honored. Many women (or the feminine energy crying out within a man) feel a loss of the feminine aspect and disconnect from Church or Temple environments if they’ve not totally been conditioned by patriarchy or fear for their lack of acceptance within the herd. (Being rejected by the herd is nothing to belittle. We have a very strong instinct to be accepted and included as a survival response and I’ll tell you as a women who was partnered early in life and became a single mom at 35, the herd will reject you if you’re not playing the game in the way they see as most safe to sustaining their ideas of conformity even if the opt out was not your conscious choice.) But back to that loss of feminine aspect within the Church — there can be a stirring in the heart and defiance in the bones knowing there must be something more, something not spoken in the world of belief their parents handed them — something that isn’t quite right. Of course, that all depends on the parents and what they have to hand over, but in a general sense of a collective religious experience, I have heard this from many people. I’d say they’re right to feel this and if they were inspired to go digging for information, they’d find hidden manuscripts and evidence of altered texts that offer a new understanding and more inclusive truth.

In New Age spirituality, the term Christ consciousness has evolved with growing use that feels so much better in my heart space which is the meter by which I decide on all truth (literally laughing out loud as I type that because it feels so good to choose with your heart). I was prepared by various meditative practices found inside and outside of religion that led me to embody a more curious nature which opened me to a fresh understanding of “Christ”. This form of consciousness refers to a supreme state of unconditional love, of deep compassion for all of creation, and for unity with the divine. A person living from Christ consciousness has cleared the mind, the body, and soul to connect to the grid of reality with pure energy while Spirit can now work through that person with the virtues of righteousness. Crystalline consciousness is even broader than Christ consciousness and what some call a higher-vibrational frequency that transcends duality. It’s said that the grid of reality can become a Crystalline interface for all through the mass awakening of souls stepping into Christ consciousness by practicing a state of unconditional love, of deep compassion, and seeking unity with the divine from within. As these practices become more embodied, they take shape as habit, and then the truth of the person’s presence; they become Crystalline too.

What I find to be most beautiful here, is that all the while we stay human as we work towards embodying Christ consciousness and Crystalline consciousness. That means we can live in a spiral that is inherent to all of creation, moving between states of being and should we find ourselves in the shadowy corners of our humanness then we can work our way back to unconditional love, compassion, and unity while witnessing radical forgiveness as an active choice that shines through our beliefs as the ego is silenced for the most authentic expression of self to be realized. Fear and Doubt may creep in but cannot exist for long periods in the being that has experienced these states of consciousness . The need for Control, other than control of self, falls away. Love and Trust take deep root within. Radiance dances in the eyes. Peace pervades the presence with a healing quality that is palpable to others. Everything becomes lighter from this heavenly place possible to experience as you walk the Earth.

Everything I Wanted

“In the Divine Plan, every righteous desire of the heart is satisfied”. – Florence Scovel Shinn

When I was 17 I had the inspiration to write a list of what I wanted in life. I included details about my ideal partner, my children, how it would feel to be together, and how I would feel with all those things secured. I sealed up the list in an envelope and I tucked it into my favorite book at the time.

Twelve years later, I was packing up to move to another state with that ideal partner and those two kids just in the gender order I had specified, and the forgotten list fell out of the book. I paused for a long while looking over what 17 year old me had very directly listed I wanted to have and I felt everything freeze around me seeing it all received. I HAD EVERYTHING I WANTED. That may look like a lovely blessing and I definitely felt it as such at the time. I was a bit wowed at how I had simply listed it all and easily received it all without toiling over it. I didn’t repeatedly look at the list and wonder about how it would happen. I just clearly stated what I wanted and let it go. So this realization of how life *can work shifted into my conscious awareness and I say it like this because I have no doubt that some unconscious part of me understood already. It also helps that I wasn’t asking for anything outside of the realm of what we consider to be common occurrence. Those things take more trust and imagination to bring about.

As the move continued on, I didn’t think about the list much more but in the year to come, I found myself begin questioning everything I thought I understood about reality. HOW did that happen exactly? I began to feel curious about astrology and venture down pathways to understand different lenses of life as well as to write poetry and some short stories regularly which caused me to seek inspiration points in others. I found observing the qualities in others as well the way people relate to one another to be an excellent past time; it was super informative for how reality appears to be different depending on the participants.

As more time passed, I began to have symptoms of what many refer to as spiritual awakening. I felt different in my reality, with contrast coming up between me and those around me. I saw others differently than I had seen them before because I was changing. I learned to respond differently to the reality to heal the unhealthy patterns that were playing. I devoted myself to creating a healthier physical form after childbirths and within that began a practice of Kundalini yoga which I attribute now to the pattern awareness that occurred. When I first practiced this yoga I felt like I would vomit after every session for many weeks, and yet for some reason I kept doing it with adjustments here and there to help myself through that reaction. More recently, in a training to teach Kundalini, I understood that was a release of toxins in my body. The breath work and the lymphatic cleanse cleared so much energetic density from my body and it was absolutely worth it to do that work and to ultimately feel better. This also meant becoming more sensitive to my body and what my body needed as well as what it did not need.

I became more sensitive to everything around me as well. I could always read people with ease, but their motivations began to become apparent to me and I could feel their feelings too so that a person’s energy would speak to me before they ever said a word. I found this to be overwhelming for a time, wishing I could just process myself and not so much other information at once too. As I learned to anchor into this way of experiencing life, my external reality took on some challenges that didn’t match that original list at all. Everything I wanted was shifting into an external expression that wasn’t at all what I wanted, but now that I’m a decade deep into venturing away from the list, I’ll say I’ve come to view the growth that has occurred as it’s own blessing. Loss is a great teacher. I’ve learned to have gratitude in each day, to let forgiveness be an ever-present practice, to be mindful of what I speak, that saying less and sometimes nothing is more effective than anything I could have uttered, how to give without a thought for what may come back, how to expect the best from others knowing that allows them to show up as such, and how to love others as well as myself unconditionally. I’ve also learned to trust the universe to know best what’s in alignment with my highest good and to welcome what shows up in my reality now under that frequency.

Sometimes our ego and our soul want or need different things. Making sure they’re aligned is imperative. Otherwise, it could be that everything you want is only in service to a particular aspect of you, but not in service to the whole. That moment of thinking “I have everything I wanted” for me was a gateway to one of many spiritual awakenings. Sometimes Spirit creates a little precursor moment to releasing the ego because the soul has other plans.